Blame the Stars: A Very Good, Totally Accurate Collection of Astrological Advice

Welcome to the world of Horror Scoops: a weird and wonderful twist on classic zodiac signs. Meet passionate and wild Lemo (a.k.a. Leo), kind Lehbrah (Libra), steadfast Clopricrumb (Capricorn), Germini the Twrnnns (take two guesses), and others—signs which, although slightly silly, reveal more about us than we realize.

Part One dives deep into each sign, offering insightful tidbits and advice on love, life, and work (for example, if you’re an Arbys, consider a career as a Pie-Eating Competition Judge, a Horse Observer, or a Horse Observer Observer). Part Two details a year’s worth of sign-specific guidance, Scoop-holidays (like January 15, the Day of Remembrance for Fallen Houseplants), and journal prompts to spark deep introspection. Full of colorful illustrations from Scoops creator and accidental astrologer Heather Buchanan, lots of entertaining nonsense, and occasional sense-sense, Blame the Stars offers the ideal way to contemplate the mysteries of the universe (or have a giggle).